Winter
by Sifauna Auria
Summary: In the harsh winter cold, a hanyou wanders, dying, telling his tale of what happened so long ago...
1. Default Chapter

Winter  
  
By: Pinkjasmine  
  
Prologue  
  
~  
  
Summary: In the harsh winter cold, a hanyou wanders, dying, telling his tale of what happened so long ago.  
  
~  
  
I feel the cold winter wind playing with my hair. The winter, so beautiful and fragile, yet so deadly.  
  
The snow blankets the once green grass. I make footprints as I walk aimlessly, perhaps I'll find a cave to spend the night. I can try to find a couple of dry wood to build a small fire, though that would prove to be difficult since the snow has dampened most of the wood.  
  
I look up at the heavens, somewhere that I shall soon be, I shall be able to leave this heathen land. My Kagome and friends has already gone to that sanctuary, and no longer has to suffer in this forsaken land.  
  
I'm so cold, so lonely, my heart hungers for a companion to talk to.  
  
Though you are not my first choice, you satisfy my need for a friend.  
  
I know that I'm a hanyou; I should be tough, not weak. My exterior is cold, but deep inside I yearn for someone to love me, to care about me. I don't let that side show. But Kagome has helped me reveal that part of me.  
  
The chill wind blows, I shiver to keep warm. My fingertips are numb; I close my fist to keep from getting a frostbite. One would think that with my demon blood coursing through my veins, it would shield me from the cold. But tonight's the night of the new moon; my human form is starting to emerge as the night is creeping closer and closer. The tips of my silver hair are tinged with black.  
  
A human cannot keep the cold out of their body, except with the help of clothing, but my red haori is not the warmest thing in the world.  
  
I know I'll die from hypothermia, but my heart has already died. How? You ask, let me tell you. . .  
  
~  
  
A/N: Another angst fic. I love writing angst. I know that was a bit too short but I want to save everything for the next chapter. I know the P.O.V is a bit weird, but it will be explained at the end. This is going to be a pretty short fic. Please REVIEW!!!!! Thanx. 


	2. My Past

Winter  
  
Chapter 2  
  
By: Pinkjasmine  
  
~  
  
A/N: I'm really sorry for the late update. I've been busy. *ahem* So, after you read this chapter, please review, and I'd like to know if you think that Inuyasha is OOC. If he is, then please tell me how so. Do you think he should be less formal and use more slang? But I dislike writing angst fics in slang. Anyways read the story.  
  
~  
  
Once upon a time. Ha! I see you grimace. What? Don't like fairy tales? Don't worry; my life is far from a happy ending. . .  
  
~  
  
When I was growing up, my brother was always stoic and cold towards me – I think he even hated me. I asked my mother about it once and she told me he was jealous. Jealous? Of me? Why? He was the important. He was the true youkai, he wasn't a frickin' disgrace to father.  
  
Deep down I guess I admired him, maybe even, kami forbid, loved the jerk. But bitterness and resentment overcame that feeling of admiration.  
  
Sesshoumaru was the center of attention, everybody knew who he was. Nobody paid any damn attention to me though. I was just. . . there.  
  
Perhaps it was the lack of attention that father started to. . . notice me more. Maybe that's why Sesshoumaru hated me. Finally something I had that he didn't. Ha! Having father talk to me for once was worth way more than the respect of the other youkais.  
  
The youkais made fun of me and my mother. Perhaps that's why Sesshoumaru avoided me. If he was around me, he'd have been insulted by the other youkais.  
  
When my mother died I was left alone. More youkais teased me, but my brother got more and more respect.  
  
When father died, I didn't know what to feel. Sure, I was upset that he passed away, he was my father. But then, during his last years, he began to train Sesshoumaru how to fight and forgot all about me. I guess it's because he anticipated his death and wished to have a strong and legible heir to inherit his possessions. I, being a hanyou, and a younger son, cannot inherit as much as my brother. Therefore, I need not learn to defend my title and belongings. Still, it pained me to see father devoting all his time to Sesshoumaru, while I was left to play by myself.  
  
After father's death, I reached the age where I was able to wander around freely without an adult, so I left the house where I spent my miserable years of childhood.  
  
I doubt Sesshoumaru even cared about my parting.  
  
I journeyed southward. I ate whatever I found, and I slept in the trees, where I had a better view of my predators. I continued traveling. . . to a place where I was accepted.  
  
I spent many wretched years following this routine. . . until I heard about the shikon jewel. I eagerly roamed the land searching for it. If I were to wish upon it to become a full demon, maybe. . . just maybe. . . I'll be accepted. And I'll be cherished and loved.  
  
When I found out that the shikon jewel was under the watchful eye of the miko Kikyo, I hurried to her village.  
  
When I first saw Kikyo, she was different from anyone I've seen. She was a human, yet she had extraordinary powers that no humans could ever possess.  
  
I stayed a distance away from her, watching her everyday. I felt somewhat attached to her. She and I were the same – social outcasts. I was a hanyou, yearning to be a youkai. She was a miko, wishing to be nothing more than an ordinary woman.  
  
But one day she stopped walking to her destination and called out to me. She told me to reveal myself. I did so. I approached her cautiously, she smiled at me and asked me my name. She knew I was a half-demon, but she didn't mind.  
  
So, we slowly became friends. And I slowly fell in love with her.  
  
One day, while we were talking she suggested that instead of using the shikon jewel to become a full demon, I should use it to become a human. I thought about it.  
  
Becoming a human would mean surrendering what little demonic power I possessed. And I was positive that Sesshoumaru would refuse to acknowledge the fact that he had a human brother. But I didn't care about what Sesshoumaru would have thought about me. I was more concerned at how Kikyo would regard me.  
  
She informed me that if I were human, we could marry and we could have a warm and safe home with a loving family. From a very early age, that was what I desired.  
  
She promised that she would bring the shikon jewel the next day. I believed her.  
  
But on the day she was supposed to bestow upon me the jewel, she wasn't there. She deceived me. And I played the fool and believed her. Do you know how much that hurts? To have the only person that you trust and seemed to trust and love you, lie to you?  
  
My heart broke. And my heart hardened. I didn't want to love anyone anymore.  
  
So, I changed my mind on being human, I decided that there was more advantage in being a full demon.  
  
I rushed to the place where Kikyo kept the shikon jewel. I grabbed it. When the villagers started pursuing me, I hurried away.  
  
Then when I got to the Goshinboku tree, I was stopped by Kikyo's voice.  
  
As I turned around, I saw her placing an arrow on a bow. My eyes wandered to the huge gash upon her shoulder.  
  
My heart exploded with emotions. I wanted to hate the miko for betraying me, but how can you hate the only person who seemed to understand you?  
  
Also, I was upset to know that someone attacked Kikyo.  
  
Then Kikyo released the string, her sacred arrow flew through the air and pinned me to the tree. I was pinned there for 50 years. . .  
  
~  
  
As I paused in the middle of my life story, I took a deep breath and looked at my surroundings. I noticed that I was in a small cave, the ceiling touching my head.  
  
A pitiful flame blazed before me. I shivered and I inched closer to the fire. The warmth washed over me, and I relaxed my tense body.  
  
The ember may have warmed my body, but it did not warm my cold heart, full of bitterness and hatred. Hatred for what? I'm not entirely sure. Perhaps hatred towards fate for making me a hanyou and not a youkai. And for sending me two human girls for me to love, but both I can outlive. But I cannot change destiny and our road of life.  
  
A gentle breeze blew out the flame. I see you getting up. Gathering more wood I presume? No need, but I thank you for your consideration.  
  
I, currently being a weak human, without my demonic blood to sustain me, would expire shortly. I try to avoid any possible means of shortening my life span . . until I finish my tale anyway.  
  
But if we were to waste time and gather more wood for a fire, I'm afraid I wouldn't have enough time to finish my story.  
  
I see you growing impatient. Yes, let's continue, I'm not sure how long I have left. Anyways, it's better to get it over with. Now, let's see, where were we?  
  
Ahh. . . yes. . . I remember. . . 


	3. Happiness

Winter  
Chapter 3  
By: Pinkjasmine  
  
As I woke up... I saw Kikyo? No, it wasn't her. Even though she looked exactly like Kikyo, her voice was different, and she had a different scent. Not like the natural fragrance of peach blossoms Kikyo had. That azure-eyed witch, wearing an outrageously short kimono, harboured a mysterious aroma. Something that earthly flowers could not produce.  
  
I looked at her, and my memories drifted towards Kikyo's smiling face. Even though I knew she wasn't Kikyo, a part of me wanted to believe that she was Kikyo. I wanted her to be Kikyo, then we could go back and start over again.  
  
But as I tried to move, Kikyo's sacred arrow restricted my movements, and bitterness entered my heart once more. How could I ever love the one who pinned me to a tree? But a part of me longed for her, wanted to hold her. I unconsciously called out her name, "Kikyo."  
  
The girl looked at me curiously, "I'm not Kikyo. My name is Kagome."  
  
Suddenly a gentle breeze carrying the fragrance of peach blossoms blew towards me and Kikyo's face returned to me.  
  
"Of course you're Kikyo, you smell like her." I slowly took another sniff, the breeze had subside, so the air was once again contaminated by a strange scent.  
  
The girl's cerulean eyes flashed and she said very slowly and clearly, "I'm KA-GO-ME!"  
  
Just then, a giant centipede came and attacked her. And the shikon jewel flew out of her body. I felt my eyes widen in shock. How? Why? Wasn't Kikyo the one who held the jewel?  
  
When the idiotic villagers arrived, they started shrieking incoherent sentences. "Inuyasha...awakened...Lady Kaede...."  
  
As I watched the centipede devour the shikon jewel, just within my grasp, I turned to the girl. "Hey, could you pull the arrow out?"  
  
I observed her struggle to reach the arrow while being squashed against me by the centipede's body.  
  
Just as she touched the arrow, it vanished with a flash of light. I was completely bewildered. Kikyo's sacred arrows were not easily removed. It takes a person whose spiritual powers either equal or surpass Kikyo's to dispose of it.  
  
I grinned as I was able to move freely, and flexed my claws, then I slashed the pitiful excuse of a demon.  
  
I turned to the girl and reached for the shikon jewel. She started to run away from me. Another sign to prove that she wasn't Kikyo. Kikyo would never back away from a battle, especially a battle for the control of the shikon jewel.  
  
When we got to the bridge, the old hag Kaede placed a subduing spell onto a rosary, which forced me to be its owner. Then that girl Kagome continuously muttered that stupid word 'sit.' So I was unable to claim the shikon jewel for myself.  
  
Then they literally dragged me to the old hag's hut to discuss the girl's "past" life. Kaede insisted that Kagome was Kikyo's reincarnate. But that can't be true! Kikyo can't be dead!  
  
But Kaede claimed that Kikyo died the day I was pinned to the Goshinboku tree. And Kikyo told Kaede to burn the shikon jewel with her body.  
  
So, the one I used to love died, and was reincarnated into this...girl from the "future" as she claimed. That explained a lot of things, like her extremely short kimono, and her scent.  
  
After the stupid wench broke the shikon jewel into hundreds of separate fragments, Kaede informed us that we had to work together to gather all the jewel shards.  
  
I was so frustrated at the futuristic girl, she literally gave half the corrupt demon population a fragment of the shikon jewel, in which Kikyo sacrificed herself to protect from tainted hands.  
  
But we did journey together to collect the shards, and we met a few friends on the way, Shippo, Miroku, and Sango.  
  
During the journey, I don't know why, but I felt more and more attracted to her. Kagome helped me erase the pain of my past life, and she taught me to love again.  
  
Kagome was slowly opening my closed and embittered heart.  
  
Sometimes I wonder why I thought of her was Kikyo, because they were different in so many ways. Kagome was more open, cheerful, talkative, and optimistic, while Kikyo was silent and independent.  
  
After we accumulated most of the jewel fragments, we battled Naraku and we won with Kagome's sacred arrow.  
  
Finally after 3 years of searching for the pieces of the jewel, the Shikon no Tama was completed and purified.  
  
Our quest was finished, Kagome was free to go home and stay there.  
  
But I didn't want her to go. I realized that I loved her, even more than Kikyo. I don't know why. Perhaps it was because Kagome didn't care if I was a hanyou or a human. Kikyo wanted me to become human before she would fully accept me.  
  
On the day Kagome decided to leave for her time and never come back, I wasn't there to say goodbye. I couldn't bear it. Instead I found myself at the Goshinboku tree.  
  
It was the place where I was bound to by a woman whom I used to love, and awakened by a girl I learned to love.  
  
I don't know whether the tree was a blessing or a curse. It pushed away a woman whom I could have lived with. And it sent a girl who doesn't belong in this era.  
  
Just then, I heard leaves rustle beneath someone's foot. I turned around and saw Kagome. Her vivid eyes were brimming with tears. She dropped her bags and hugged me tightly. She then declared that she was going to stay with me forever.  
  
I was delighted. I had never felt so happy and loved in my entire life before. Words can never describe how that one moment, that one sentence, made me feel. To me, everything seemed more beautiful. The world wasn't as bleak and dark as before. Everything seemed so full of life, love, and hope. Especially Kagome.  
  
Shortly after Sango and Miroku's marriage, we too, were married.  
  
Since we weren't going to be married in Kagome's time with her wearing a westernized bridal gown, she decided to be married in elegant traditional Japanese style.  
  
Surprisingly, Sesshoumaru attended our wedding, bring Rin along. He gave us a lavish gift of materials we needed for a new home. When asked why he bothered to come, since e despised me and humans so much. Sesshoumaru merely stated that his appearance was in honour of father.  
  
But I think the real reason he came was to show his acceptance of me and Kagome. He didn't think half-breeds and humans were weak anymore, not after we defeated Naraku. And Sesshoumaru abandoned some of his coldness after he adopted Rin.  
  
Me and Kagome lived happily and peacefully together. But we were childless, even after five years of marriage.  
  
So, on one of Kagome's occasional visits to her time, she decided to see the doctor.  
  
The doctor informed her that due to one of her bodily functions, she was unable to bear children.  
  
But that was fine with me, I didn't want brats running around screaming anyways. As long as we were happy together, nothing could ever destroy that happiness. 


	4. Ending Chapter of My Tale

Winter

Ending Chapter of My Tale

>

A/N: Well...I haven't updated this in a long time...and now I did...and this is the ending too. XD I'm kinda relieved that this is over, I hope you guys like the ending...and I apologize for the OOCness of the characters...XD Btw...as you'll read later...I'm just kinda making up some type of illness...so please forgive me if I sound like I don't know what I'm writing about...COS I DON'T! blushes shyly hehe...anyways...read and enjoy...thanks

>

Kagome and I naively believed that nothing could destroy our happiness...but something did. A terrible plague flooded the land, and many of the humans perished. Kagome, being the kind-hearted miko she was, offered comfort and help to those who caught the horrid illness. Eventually, even my Kagome succumbed to the evils of the world - the dreaded plague.

It wasn't fair, Kagome only wanted to help others, so she doesn't deserve to die. Me, a hanyou, possesed a stronger biological defense against bacterias and foreign substance, so my miserable existence was unjustly spared.

It was horrible and terrifying. Kagome was vomitting blood every few minutes. Her skin was pearly white, drained of the radiant pink blush that naturally coloured her body. Her once bright cerulean eyes faded to the colour of an ugly blueish gray. The long glossy mane of black that hung freely around her shoulders was drenched with sweat, and did not smell of the strange flower scent she carried.

I'm not a physician, I know not what illness took away my Kagome, but I do know that it was deadly.

My heart palpitated ferociously with fear and dread as Kagome developed a fatal fever within hours that she caught the disease. A forced smile adorned her face, lined with weariness and pain.

I couldn't bear to see her in such pain...so I released her of her pain with the Tetsusaiga. I had slaughtered many demons before with ease, but this time it was different, it wasn't just because Kagome was human, but because...I don't know how to describe it...it was just the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life. I remember that my throat was clogged with tears, and a blurred vision of a Kagome with her eyes closed, awaiting her fate.

Tetsusaiga would never slay another human, demon, or half-demon. With Kagome's blood dripping from the edge of the blade, Tetsusaiga was soaked with the blood of the innocent, and it vowed never to harm another soul. Or perhaps you could say that I would never draw Tetsusaiga again.

Often, I decided that I would follow in pursuit of Kagome, but every time I held my claws up, about to strike my heard, my hand shook. I couldn't destroy myself. Even now, I still can't forgive my cowardice. I don't know why, but I just couldn't rip my heart out.

In the end, I chose to die in an inveitable way to ensure my relief. i can't live with this excruciating pain anymore. So, I chose to die of hypothermia as a human.

After I had planned my way of death, I went in search of a companion to bury me after my demise. Even I did not wish that a child in their play, come across my unsightly corpse, and be traumatised by it.

However, Miroku and Sango had passed on, and I've not much friends who would help me.

I contemplated Shippo as my companion, but as I stole a glimpse of the orphaned kitsune, I decided against it. Even though he was taller and more mature, he was still but a child. Although I, myself, age slow, he as a full demon, age slower than I.

Myoga was certainly out of the question, he can barely lift twice his own weight, let alone bury me.

Kouga, I would never ask, even in my last moments, I absolutely refuse to grobel at his feet for help.

And you, you were my last choice; I chose you out of desperation, Sesshoumaru, dear brother.

A mere phrase of thanks cannot express my deep gratitude, but it's the only thing I can do...

Thanks big bro, yeah, thanks for listening to me while I DIE! Oh, if you want, take my sword. It ain't gonna do me any good if I take it down with me, it'll probably rot with me in hell. I hope you can use it. I vowed that Tetsusaiga would harm no other soul within my possession, but you can do whatever you want with it.

>

I hid my smirk as Inuyasha reverted to his annoying little self again. I hate to say this...but I think I'll...miss him...somewhat...I've grown accustomed to his empty threats of killing me. "Time had dulled my heart's hunger for Tetsusaiga. I am satisfied with Tenseiga, for with it, I have met Rin, and she has shown me many things. If you do not wish to take Tetsusaiga with you, then I shall leave it in our father's grave."

>

"Idiot!" The old man's grave is in my eye. How will you take it out when my eyes are closed and I'm dead? Are you gonna rip my eyeballs out?" I was thoroughly shocked when I heard a small chuckle. Aw shit! All of hell must've frozen over, and I'm going there soon!

I sighed tiredly ad I sifted through my memories and found the most pleasant ones. The ones of Kagome's small body pressed around mine in a tight hug.

I leaned back against the wall, content.

My eyes slowly pressed themselves close as I waited...

I feel so sleepy...

Too tired to move...

Too tired...

>THE END>


End file.
